I think one of the biggest reasons I became an investigator was my intense fear of death. I wish I could be someone that just accepts the fact we all have to die and not be terrified of the prospect. But instead I hope to find undeniable proof that there really is some sort of life after death. I used to believe in Heaven but sadly my belief system is no more. I know that energy can never be destroyed so that gives me some kind of hope. But just the thought of NOT existing is something I can’t comprehend.
I know there is nothing I can do about it and it’s inevitable, but I hope I can find some assurance that I can wholeheartedly believe so it will calm my fears. I mean, I have seen a shadow in the shape of a person that is not connected to anyone, I’ve gotten some amazing EVPs of voices I can’t explain. I’ve felt something pull my hair, I’ve seen balls of light with my own eyes, I’ve heard disembodied voices. Are these really people that used to be living? What if it’s just a manifestation of our own minds or somehow we create these things ourselves?
This is why I want to conduct a few experiments. I would like to ask a group to investigate a place and say a word out loud. Explain to any spirits there to remember that word and say it when the next group comes in. So in a week or two after that, I can go in there with my group and ask what the word is and hopefully get an EVP of the word. That way I would know I was not planting that word myself, that there was truly something intelligent there.
Anyway, I wonder if there are any other paranormal investigators with a fear of death.